我朋友是杀人狂

I just watched the movie My Friend Dahmer, which is based on the book My Friend Dahmer by Derf Backderf, his high school classmate and friend. To be honest, I feel bad for this guy.For Jeffrey Dahmer, murdering was the means to an end, not the end itself. He didn't necessarily enjoy killing. What he wanted was quenching his thirst in love and finding his ideal type of lover — a tall and slender male, unconscious, dead and being with him forever.The realization of being homosexual already devastated young Jeff, back in the 1960s, when the society was very unforgiving to the LGBTQ. Even more so when it occurred to him that he not only fantasized male sexual partners, but also fantasized unconscious and dead males. Obviously, he knew such fantasies were abnormal and sick, from the very beginning. He lashed out his shame and frustration by beating the trees. As he grew older, his sexual fantasies intensified, just like every other teen. What made him different was his love for unconscious males’ bodies — necrophilic fantasies.He hated such necrophilic fantasies. He wanted to get them out of his mind. But as we all know, you can't really control what is popping up in your mind.He resorted to alcohol, hoping to seek momentary peace. Alcohol fucked up his brain, academic performance, human relationships and physical health, but for Jeff it wasn't a bad price to pay in exchange for eliminating the sickening necrophilic fantasies.Later, people he had been close to, and people he was supposed to be close to, left him one by one. His mother, his father, his brother and his high school friends. He was all alone in the house. He hated being left alone, despite all the social awkwardness. One crucial reason was that his abysmal sexual fantasies might consume him and eat him alive.Soon, those sickening necrophilic fantasies started to take the better of him. Even if he could manage to resist them, he couldn't, after a certain point. Not anymore.Meanwhile, his parents were going through an ugly divorce, trapped in those proceedings. The teachers turned a blind eye on him. When he was hitting the trees, coming back with his roadkill preys, walking in the hallways clearly drunk and high, behaving in a bizarre way, showing no interest in schoolwork, and endlessly consuming alcohol, no counselor was there to help him, no adult even spoke to him about it.That's how he came to do what he did. His deeds demonstrated abominable cruelty. He had put 17 families in lifelong miseries.He was outspoken and straightforward in each interview and interrogation — how and why he killed each of his victim, dismembered the bodies and dissolved the parts. He said he had real friendship in high school. Derf, as his high school friend, also mentioned that high school had to be Jeff's happiest years in his life. He showed his remorse in court. He decided to be cremated after death, no tombstone, no grave, no funeral. He said he simply wanted to be “wiped out.” Was he absolutely irredeemable? I doubt. Had any adults intervened, he might not turn into the serial killer and cannibal; the victims’ lives might be spared. But his life was also a tragedy. His brain was wired in a way incompatible with the existing society. Even if adults had intervened, I highly doubt if he would ever possibly live a normal and happy life. His fate was decided from the moment his sexual fantasies emerged. While we are appalled by what Dahmer had done decades ago, there may be closeted pedophiles and necrophiles lurking among us. They may deserve hatred, but they deserve help even more. There should be a way they can open up without fear and shame, and let the professionals help them survive.

破裂的家庭、自闭的性格、成长的痛、被压抑的性，这所有的一切都需要一个突破口来宣泄。这部电影独到之处在于他的角度和立意，它不是去讲述一个杀人狂大开杀戒的故事，而是从小处着眼带领观众去观察一个少年如何一步步的走向这个自我毁灭的过程，并试图探讨其社会根源。这是一个普通人的视角，对Dahmer的诠释与刻画，也充满了人性关怀。这是一个痛苦与纠结的过程，理智让他多次放弃行动，但被欲望唆使的冲动愈渐强烈，最终使他走上了不归之路，电影也到此戛然而止。整部影片节奏明快流畅，男主角的衬衣好美，眼花缭乱，可以来一场复古的时装秀。

本人是个恐怖片的热衷迷，起初看片名，哇，杀人狂耶，还是朋友呢！嗯！一定会是血浆狰狞挑战人极限的片，然而我完全想多了，其实是一部剧情片。苦等反转黑化的我，看着时间一分分的过去，直到最后也没等来发狂的杀戮。 男主在原生家庭里是个不被重视和关注的可怜娃，他的父母更爱的是他的弟弟，几乎把所有的爱都给了这个弟弟。为了迎合父亲，他不得不放弃自己对生物学的爱好，对骨头的迷恋，去努力成为父亲想要的样子，就为父亲能爱自己多一点。 当所有人都嫌弃母亲做的饭难吃的时候，男主为了得到母亲的关注和爱，说他喜欢。他本来爱吃的鸡腿，也为了迎合母亲偏袒的心，让给了弟弟。就为母亲能爱他，不讨厌他。 有一天在课堂上被点名回答问题，男主发现装傻能引来别人的关注，像他这样的小透明，瞬间喜欢上了这种感觉，后来他验证了这个想法。只要装傻搞怪，大家都会注意自己，喜欢上自己，就能得到更多人的爱。男主成功的交到了几个好友，也组建了一个小团体，男主第一次被肯定，第一次被这么多人夸赞，让他开心无比。因此为了保持这样的感觉，他迎合着大家，不断的搞怪，又想着各种点子装傻，只为大家能够更愿意靠近他，喜欢他，爱他。 当男主认为自己已经成为父母想要的样子时，家里发生了变故，父母要离婚。本想着总算是能得到父母的爱了，却得到了如此结果。随后男主终于明白自己只是朋友眼中取笑逗趣的小丑，本以为大家是真的喜欢自己，结果只是自己的一厢情愿。最后男主试着和女生接触，想解决自己被同性吸引的迷茫，然而在舞会上他彻底失败了，他对女孩没有任何感觉，对于他来说，女孩还不如快餐来得可口…… 为了迎合所有人，换来的或是空亦或是一个大笑话。压抑着真实的自己，只为奢求得到卑微的爱，是谁也会瓦解崩溃，人卑微到一种极致也就变态了。从此男主爱上了喝酒，喜欢上了恍恍惚惚。这个时候开始，已经埋下罪恶的种子，终有一天会长成参天大树…… 还有一点男主若是当初得到父母的关注，一定会发现他为何没有交往女友，要是这个时候能疏导让他正视对于同性的迷恋，也许就不会有后来的也许了…… 总之这片不是在给杀人狂洗白，而是想让所有人看别人的故事，去体会，去感受，去反思，去有所收获，去对身边人做些什么……