寻：电影版

Okay, I'm going to ask you something. Were you actually ever in love with me? Yes. I... I think so. I mean, I certainly loved the idea of us. 'Cause I could have made it work. I could've. When I said I wanted to be monogamous with you, I meant it. I didn't want you to make a promise you couldn't keep. Fuck you. How'd you know I wouldn't keep it. Anyway, that's not why we broke up. We weren't right for each other. No, no no, no, no, no, no. How do you know that? I just did. I... I do. But you-- you didn't even try. You didn't even try. You moved in one day, you moved out the next. You didn't even fucking unpack. Listen, I admit that I handled that horribly, Yes,but I apologize for that. And... (sighs) Isn't it better to quit rather than drag out something that you know won't work? Okay, well, in a nutshell, there's your problem. What is? You, you, you. You quit, you run away. You don't take risks, ever. What are you talking about? I moved in with you. No, no, no, no, no. Patrick, the risk would have been trying to make it work. The risk would have been putting in the hard graft to make it work. Now, I-- I don't want to seem like a cunt,but you are a coward. Oh, I don't think that's fair. I couldn't trust you anymore. And I-- I don't know what hard graft means, but I don't think I've been a coward at all. Okay, well, I think the facts tell a very different story. Would a coward have moved to a different city? A new job? Left everything behind? You-- you basically moved home. And are you sure you didn't run away and not move away? They're two very different things. And what next? What next for Patrick Murray? Huh? When that doesn't work out, I'll bet you a million dollars, you're already looking for the next thing. You are. I know you. You run away and you are a coward. You were a coward with me. You were a coward with Richie. Enough, Kevin. Jesus. You hit a few potholes in the road and instead of trying to navigate through it, you slam your brakes on, you start crying and you run the other direction. Why would you do that for me? Seriously. After...everything? Well, because despite everything, Patrick, I just want you to be happy, man. Why? Why? 'Cause I love you. Look, don't stay in Denver. Come back. And you can take that from someone who moves around to constantly avoid dealing with things. It never works, but I think you know that already. 《桥头风景》时 RT 有次接受采访被问到在《寻》第二季最后为什么对 Patrick 那么渣，他反驳到你在一段外遇中认识的我，你应该清楚我是怎样的人，你应该清楚自己在做什么，但 Patrick 的应对显然不够成熟。 主持人辩不过只好说 “我们百老汇这群人就是看不得 Jonathan Groff 不开心嘛。” 现在看完电影才意识到 RT 对角色的理解一直都是对的。大家觉得 Kevin 渣是因为最后是他用一个吻打破暧昧的，但这不能代表 Patrick 就是两人中更无辜的那个。之前的搭讪、加班、基友助攻等也不能让人家装傻装不懂。 Kevin 和 Jon 分手后在门口等了一晚上，问 Patrick 愿不愿意给两人一个机会的时候，Patrick 毫不犹豫的答应了。但对 Kevin 来说，真正的 take a shot 是 take a risk，是离开相处两年的男友，是搬到一起住，是遇到问题时试图解决，是在对方的要求下尝试成为更好的自己而非瞬间变身为对方理想中的自己。Patrick 的逃避显然是不够成熟的。Patrick 说的 “我无法相信你了” 是个很好的理由，但是 Kevin 在咖啡厅说的每一句也都一针见血。 开始觉得一段对话就洗白了编剧好厉害... 后来才知道结局是一开始就定好的，再回头听两个人刚在一起时那首结尾配乐的歌词都是和最终的人设相呼应的： Sweetheart may not be easy But we're trying hard to hold on Trying to make it better And I said baby you set my soul on fire I got two little arms To hold on tight and I wanna take it higher Baby you never should say never I got a hurricane inside my veins and I wanna stay forever 虽然没在一起但还是觉得 Kevin 和 Patrick 这对已经是剧里所有关系中设定和刻画的最深入完整的。

20岁的时候也看到过类似的镜头，一幕幕城市风景倒影在主角年轻的面孔，她回到熟悉的城市，带着伤痕记忆，誓要掀起新的腥风血雨。她的表情有些疲惫，但更多的是盛年的无所谓。耳边的歌是《Young Folks》，那张著名的脸是Blake Lively，电视里是《Gossip girl》那时候她还是这个世界上最著名的少女之一，而你还没和世界发生关系。十年后几乎是同样的运镜，中央车站变身旧金山，Taxi里面是面容疲惫的青年男子。司机问，这次回来感觉如何？他会回答，过两天再问我吧，或许那时候有答案。这部电视剧去年收尾前收视人群大概0.4，但是喜欢的人都捧在手心里珍视。回答不了赞助商的问题，于是匆忙结了局，但是导演说，明年我给你们再拍部电影，让你们了却了心。于是他就用了这么一个开场，放在九十年代的国剧里就会配一首《梦醒了》。带着伤口回到当初背叛的城市，唯一收容我的却是自己的影子。当然在今日，Patrick不是孤独的个体，落脚处自有老友迎接，Denver好似不是来处，一切不像是一个周末的短旅，而是回归。像是《Looking》最终必须要发生，也必须发生在这个城市——San Francisco。<图片4>30岁的时候，什么样的人会留在你的身边？这是一个无法预料的问题，两个人，三个人，昨天还在吹牛打屁，明天就各奔东西。他们说，缘分尽了就尽了，多小的城市，住得多近依然遇不到。十面埋伏遇不到，向左走向右走亦遇不到。本集仿佛是一个离别的预兆，对于中的基友团。Doris说啊呀你想不到吧我现在真的是一个直人，参加的都是直人的活动，说Dom呀，我以为我一辈子不会有小孩，要是有也应该和你生啊，但是我就这么和Malik想要一个小孩了；Dom自Lynn之后封闭自我，也难得再享受性爱雷达，一心经营自己的餐饮梦想，他生怕自己触犯色戒，梦想也会随之破碎，这般顽固迷信多少因为人在中年再无资本输得起；Agustin要结婚却害怕结婚，害怕成为Neil Patrick Harris这种自己曾经最Anti的人，我的30岁难道不应该自由自在，牛逼烘烘，活得和所有在世最才华横溢的艺术家们一样……婚姻，小孩，事业，30岁后的人生迅速被新的角色填满，所谓的单身派对如同散播着青春骊歌的舞池——再见吧年轻的伙伴们，流过的泪啊说过的话啊，都随着时光老去不复返了吧。<图片2>Andrew Haigh说这部戏是给了意犹未尽的粉丝一个答案，首映之后数人站队，这部持续了三年的丧剧有了一个看似Happy Ending的收尾。如果把答案归结于Patrick最后与谁在一起呢？这部戏给出了一个暂时性的回答；然而Andrew的聪明之处在于，我们终究在说的是人，无法肯定的人，不完美的漂浮的人，所以他暂时回答了这个火烧眉毛的问题，然而答案依旧是犹疑的。如你如我。你觉得所有的男女在教堂前说的I Do都如同赴死一样壮烈而恳切吗？I don't think so.<图片3>和Kevin的重遇，是Patrick为了给自己一个完成式，然而却有太多如鲠在喉。Andrew竟然没把这场戏写得云淡风轻，谈论一本天文学的书，而是剑拔弩张，深情至极。这里的深情，居然来自Kevin。我不知道有多少人经历过旧情人诀别多年后的一餐晚宴，聊一些无关痛痒的天，说话如走华容道，潜心绕过地雷点。这样的两个人，心里早已无记挂，至少再次相见时，是尘埃落定不愿打结。这是Patrick希望达成的Close the chapter。然而Kevin处处破局：Fuck you. How'd you know I wouldn't keep it.Anyway, that's not why we broke up.We weren't right for each other. No, no no, no, no, no, no. How do you know that? I just did. I... I do. But you-- you didn't even try.You didn't even try. You moved in one day, you moved out the next.You didn't even fucking unpack.Listen, I admit that I handled that horribly, Yes,but I apologize for that.And... (sighs)Isn't it better to quit rather than drag out something that you know won't work?Okay, well, in a nutshell, there's your problem.What is? You, you, you. You quit, you run away. You don't take risks, ever.出人意表呀，原来转身就走的我竟然令你至今想来如此恼怒。你和ex复合了，说你明白自己要什么样的生活，听说你找了新的小鲜肉做下属，对了你还说即便你为Chris Pratt撸管也没问题了。结果，你发！怒！了！这出戏到此为止，原来说的不是成长或花好月圆，只是他成功了他没有。基佬的权益，基佬的演进，基佬们内部分化这些花边都不过如是，同志最终都是凡人，都需殊途同归。你们都说Patrick的Happy Ending是牵手Ritchie，得到所爱。然而，我却认为，他的Happy Ending是不快乐的Kevin最后一吻，低下眉眼说一句，I love you。离开你，去伦敦与平淡如水的结发妻过不温不火的生活，把最好的留给你，承认那些你爱过我的日子里，我如此深爱你。亦承认这些日子里，你逐渐忘记我，我日渐成为你平淡生活的谈资、笑料之时，我依然爱你。我不在任何梯队，不是哪一对CP的迷，我相信，30岁的Patrick不需要和Kevin在一起也是这副模样。然而我明白的是，镜头逐渐拉远，生命中每一个曾经认为重要的人都会离开，至于你，也不会按照18岁的轨道美好生长。但是你曾经爱过，亦被人深爱过。这就是我们等待的答案。<图片1>

或许现在PK党正沉浸在悲伤中不能自拔替kevin心疼，相信我，人设被毁于一旦的brady要可怜得多。两位编剧似乎以为观众神通广大到知晓他们把电影过渡到电视剧中间那档子情节。虽然电影一开始就努力刻画Richie对p公主一副隐忍含蓄余情未了的样子，但在S02E08里有这么个情节：PK跳舞时R对P投射了一个意味复杂的眼神，将R看到曾经深爱的人和别人终成眷属的懊恼与不甘在有限篇幅里表现得淋漓尽致，对比下来，处理手法高下立判。电影里R对P含蓄暧昧的感情刻画生硬且刻意。如果一开始就设定好P和R最后在一起，那么电视剧能再出几季的话，应该可以将人物塑造得更为丰满，整个故事也将顺理成章。而现在电影有限的篇幅，就应该更改结局或者是对人物感情更严格地考量，可惜一样都没做到。终于说到brady，说实话电影里他真不用出现，只需要在电影开始酒吧里P和R相遇，然后两人寒暄，p貌似漫不经心提到对方近来的感情状况。R略显尴尬又担心P察觉什么解释一句B发现自己对他远远达不到“love”的程度，潇洒退出。然而并没有这么设置，电影里p等于再次破坏了别人的感情（不得不承认P对R发出的暧昧信号在外人看来很是讨厌），这样他究竟成长了什么。。。电影全程几乎是PR在一起brady就会凑过去疯疯癫癫插几句嘴。B以前是个有态度见解独到的专栏作者，现在俨然成了小心眼整天提防老公出去偷情的裹脚妇女，人设尽情崩塌，尤其是快结尾还来了段互扯头花的撕逼，一下让人置身八点档肥皂剧之中。接下来还有R在这场争吵后与B分手立刻回到酒吧与P拥吻这种神速的展开，在电视剧里可是从未发生过。对编剧再一次失望。再说到Kevin，他这部分倒是没怎么崩坏，继承了电视剧的形象，合情合理的台词对话。让我不得不想是哪位编剧对这个角色心存残念，设计对白如此用心。Agustín和Dom的部份也延续了TV的一贯水准。结尾镜头很棒和氛围营造很到位什么的只能说是导演Andrew Haigh所拿手的。但用心？我只觉得这是给观众一份交差的作品，大失水准。至于R，除了第一季的约会和季终的含泪分手，实在看不出他对P的情感如何特别，或许他需要一整季剧情的铺垫而不是一个电影。至于K，道德卫士们都在三观上批判着他和P的这段关系， 但十几年前的sex and the city都能顶着所谓三观让carrie和浪子Mr.Big在一起，何况在感情里Kevin比Big投入得多也勇敢多了。预告片释出时还以为P谁都没有选，继续looking这个主题寻找着真爱，满怀期待。等待了一年半作为粉丝的我看到这样仓促的结局，实在高兴不起来